Top 10 signs you’re at a bad barbecue

10. Everything on the grill has a long, thin tail.
9. To avoid burning, chicken breasts are covered in Coppertone.
8. The “cole slaw” is just mayonnaise and lawn trimmings.
7. The three-legged race is won by a three-legged guy.
6. Every couple minutes, the cook drops his pants and flips himself with the spatula.
5. Host tells you the burgers are 20% beef and 80% critter.
4. The steaks have been sitting in marinade sauce all night, and so has your Uncle Earl.
3. You have to sign a legal waiver before you eat the potato salad.
2. Things seem tense between your hosts, Frank and Kathie Lee.
1. The guests all have grill marks on their foreheads.